Jealousy
by Algum ser
Summary: What would happen if Sam decided he wanted to hunt with Dean instead of the family? Would Dean really leave his family? WARNING: Spoilers for all supernatural seasons. NO WINCEST. R&R. Hurt-Sick-Angst!Sam Angst!Dean
1. Chapter 1

**There are spoilers for all supernatural season, including season six. So, beware of what you're reading.**

**This is only the first chapter, and it's more like getting into Sam's head in the first episode of season six. Hope you all like it and leave me reviews.**

**Ohh, just so you know, English is NOT my first language, mistakes will happen.**

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

My brother and I used to do everything together. We travelled the USA, and we did it with a smile on our face. It was perfect. Together, doing every little shit we could pull of…Every scam we could do.

I'm not gonna say that I hated it. Because, in reality, I did hate it. I wanted us to be a family, but we were a hunting team. So I left to go to college, and I never planned to get back.

From the day my brother came to pick me up, to where we are now…It's been six years. Too long to stay hateful, so I started enjoying being with my brother, accepting the fact that I was never going to be normal.

But then I died. About three years ago. And he rescued me. One year later, he died and went to Hell for me. And then he came back. And then I died (again).

But I was dead a lot longer than that. I died the moment my brother went to hell, but, hell, I tried to bring him back. I tried to stay hunting like he taught me…But I had to be stupid, kid Sammy again. And I screw up.

But y'all know that.

Before I died I tried to make everything so he could have a normal life. I never expected to come back. But I did. And now I'm outside his house (Lisa's home), a few hours or days, after I died. And I know I can't come back. It hurts to walk away, but it would hurt more to take this life away from him.

One year later I came up to him. You all know the circumstances to that too (aren't you a bunch of know it all?). And I felt left out.

Hell, how could he say he wouldn't come back hunting with me? How could he ignore me like that.

That's what I never thought about. He left me because I asked him to. But, come on…I didn't expect to come back.

But I did. And it all went to hell (let's forget the part where both of us had already gone to hell, alright?).

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

**A/N: So, this right here is my first fanfic in english.**

**I'm a Brazilian (although I would rather say brasilian), and my first language is Portuguese, so forgive any mistakes I might have made. But please, do let me know, because I have a very important English exam here, and I need all the improvement I can get.**

**This chapter is a little short…okay, very short. But that's just the beginning, and I hope you liked it enough to keep reading the story. Don't know when I will update, but I will try to do it soon.**

**Thanks y'all for reading. And please let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Spoilers for season six**

A/N: I was going to write every damn little conversation that Sam and Dean had in episode 602, but I just couldn't find it. So, I'm truly sorry for the way I had to make it.

**By the way, IMPORTANT thing: **I'm disrespecting so many rules here with the world of season six of supernatural, cause I'm ignoring the fact that Sam is a mean, dark person now. So, here, as you may have realized in the first chapter, he is only emo-kid-brother.

Second thing: I don't know where I'm going with this. But I should and WILL warn you that I don't believe in the Dean/Lisa relationship. Why? Is it because I'm jealous? NO! I do understand that she represents family, but what I cannot and will not understand is…Hell, you just lost your brother, who you've loved and cared for your whole damn life, and you go to stay with a woman because you promised him…and in a year, in a year that you're grieving, and trying to save him…you fall in love? Hell, no! That doesn't cut it for me. Okay, she has a family, BUT HELLO, he just lost his only family!

I know a lot of people disagree…But let me tell you why I feel that way: I have a big sister. In seventeen years of my life there hasn't been a day that I spend without talking to her. In seventeen years there hasn't been more than 10 days that we stayed apart. And we spent a lot of money calling each other in those 10 days. Because that's how close we are, and if anything happened to her, I would forget how to breathe. That's dramatic, I know, but that's how I feel. So, no I don't get it. I think their relationship is too forces.

Now, get on with the story, I will stop bothering you.

~o~

My brother Dean was my hero since I was a little guy. He took care of me, he fed me. He was and still is my everything.

And I used to be his. Now I'm not. And it messes you up. It messed me up. Knowing that I came back from Hell and he couldn't take a month to stay with me. Knowing that he was having dinner with a kid and a woman, and I wasn't there. Knowing that he was happy doing it.

But I couldn't stop his life and I sure as hell wouldn't be stopping mine.

I was hunting the killings of random families with one thing in common: the disappearance of their babies.

I had called Dean to help me out, I was completely lost and I dind't trust the family as I trusted my brother. But then he said he had quit, that hurt, but not as much as his "What is so wrong that you would _threaten _a damn drive by?".

You what I truly heard in that statement? I heard the not welcome sign that he put up on his door. He didn't want me on his house, his home.

He didn't want _**me**_.

We finished the hunt and we were coming back to pick up his car so he could come back to his house (I refuse to call it his home…it hurt too much), that's when I decided, I had to confront him.

"The only reason you came was because I threaten to go visit you, wasn't it?"

"Sam, I'm trying to protect my family. If I go hunting with you every now and then, they will be in danger."

I think I stopped breathing. Actually, no, I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing. It hurt, and it hurt so much that I could feel the tears in my eyes and the pain in my chest. I wanted to hug him and beg him to tell me that he loved me more than he loved them. I wanted him to tell me that he would always have my back.

But now, _**instead**_, he had _**theirs **_back.

"So, if I need your help, you…w-….will you come?"

"Sam, you're a greater hunter. Hell, I trained you myself. Besides, you got the family, don't ya?"

"I'm not hunting with them anymore…But fine…Can…Can I call…sometimes then? Please?"

He didn't want to see me. He didn't want to hunt with me. The least he could do was talk to me. I was hoping that we could end this car ride…I couldn't take it anymore. So, when I saw the ugly-so-not-Dean's car, I was almost happy. Happy that he would stop hurting me even if it was unconsciously.

When I stopped the car, he got out, closing the door with too much force. I got out as well, worried that he was angry with me.

"Sam, I'm not abandoning you, man." He passed his hand through his hair; he always did that when he was uncomfortable. " I just want to have an apple pie life…You, better than no one should understand that. You're the one who left, not me. So blame yourself."

He got on his (urgh, that hurts. That isn't his…) car and left me there.

"Believe me, I blame myself enough" I said to the thin air.

Now, I had to come back to the family, tell them that I was out.

~o~

"DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN SURVIVE THE SHIT THAT WE'RE LIVING SAM? NOTHING IS THE SAME!"

"I just want to hunt alone. I can do it. Samuel, I can do it."

"What, Sam, tell me. Did poor big brother tell you he is coming back for you, did he?" A moment of silence, where I kept my head down. "He didn't, did he? He left you and now you're leaving us. Do you really think that he will come back for you, just because we're not there? Hell, I don't care, just leave, boy."

I left. I drove to my hotel room, opened the door. It broke my heart to look inside the room.

I had picked up a two bedroom room and had also picked up some food. Dean's favorite food. I hoped that he would stay, at least to ask me what the hell I thought about hell. He left, because he missed his family. He didn't miss me.

~o~

It was four in the morning. I hadn't eaten and I hadn't slept. I couldn't. I tried to eat, but Dean's favorite food felt like ashes in my mouth. I tried to sleep but the screams of hell felt too real, and the pain was too much.

I closed my eyes for a second and I saw my big brother's smile. Although I knew that he was happy, that though brought me to my knees.

I cried and I cried. I had nothing, not even a little thing to remember him by. I didn't have his voices messages anymore. When I died, I left all of my things with Bobby, including my cell with his photos, his messages…his life, our life.

So, I did what I knew I needed to do. I got up and I called Bobby.

~o~

Dean's POV

I grabbed the necklace that was hanging in my neck. It weighted with grief, sadness and guilt. It almost made me cry.

I looked at Ben and Lisa, they were so happy. They were what every guy wanted. The apple-pie-perfect life.

The thing is, were they what I wanted?

~o~

N/A: I was going to make it longer, but my battery is running out. So, I have to update now and hopefully I will get some pretty nice reviews.

So, don't be shy, I don't bite. Leave me a review. Talk to me about my grammar, or how you want me to write something, or your ideas. But don't be silent, please? I need you to tell me what you think.

Thanks for reading.

Now, on a quick update just so I correct grammar mistakes, I wanted to thank the two people that reviewed the first chapter. I would also like to thank everybody that put the fic in you "Story Alert" or your "Favorite Story".

If you can leave me a review, thanks, I would love that =D.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Supernatural doesn't belong to me, even though I pretend it does. Huh, who knows some day…?

**Warning for spoilers** for all supernatural's seasons especially **season six**.

~o~

I called Bobby and told him I was going to visit. He asked me what was wrong and I couldn't tell him that Dean had left me. It hurt too much.

I know I'm being an egocentric, selfish bastard here, but I wanted my _brother. _Even though my brother told me that he wanted me when I came back, he chose his family, not me.

I could spent all night calling him asking if he could come back to me, but I knew that he wouldn't, so I wouldn't even try. I gave him this chance of being normal, and I can't take that back. It's all he has, 'cause I'm not his anymore, at least he doesn't think so.

I drove all damn night and almost all the morning but I finally got to Bobby's house. Staring at his door and all the cars around I couldn't stop thinking about when Dean and I were just little kids and used to run around playing hide and seek. Later, this some house became our training grounds for when I found out about hunting.

After Dean picked me up at college and dad died, this became the house of a second father. This house became the place where we used to lick our battle wounds, when hunting became too much. Then after I died this place was filled with Bobby and Dean's grief and later on it became full with my desperation to save Dean's soul. After he went to hell it became the token to my failure, how I couldn't do anything right.

Now, this same house stands for my failure all over again. I couldn't have my brother back, I couldn't take him away, I couldn't live without him, but I couldn't bring him back. And now, thinking all that, all I wanna do is call my big brother and ask him to make it alright again.

But he won't pick up the phone. He doesn't want me anymore.

I went inside the house, I greeted Bobby. I told him what I wanted and he just shook his head.

"Dean isn't hunting with ya, kid?" He gave me a look of desperation and of pity.

"Nah, he decided he would stay with Lisa. And Ben. But that's okay. I can take that. I'm a big boy." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince Bobby or myself, but I had the feeling that I convinced neither.

"What you doing here? Shouldn't you be with him, then?"

"I can't, Bobby. I screwed up too much already; the least I can give him is a normal life, without his fucked up little brother, right?"

"Kid, your brother loves you, you idjit. There's nothing more important to him than you. So, why won't you drive your car back that damn rode and go stay with your stupid brother?" He was really trying, I could feel he wanted me and Dean together again.

"He doesn't want me anymore, Bobby. He didn't have to tell me that. When I said that I would drive by his house, he told me he would meet me. You know…He…He didn't want me. He…Still doesn't." And there I was, almost crying all over again.

"Sam, that isn't true. He…"

"Look, Bobby, I don't wanna talk about it, okay? All I wanna do is pick up my stuff, the box that I left before I died." I couldn't hear him say that wasn't true. I knew Dean didn't want me anymore.

"I will give you your box. But ONLY if you promise me that tomorrow morning you will go visit your brother. I don't care what you think, you idjits have to solve this shit, alright? Can you promise me that?"

"I…Bobby…I…." I didn't want to face the rejection. I couldn't even imagine what Dean would think if I went to his door asking to stay.

"Don't backtalk to me, boy. You're doing it. And you're staying a whole damn weekend with him, you hear me? And if those damn puppy dogs eyes that you have can't make your stupid brother realize that you need him, I will tan his hide!" He was livid with anger, but his eyes were also full of determination, either I would do what he wanted or I would do what he wanted.

"Okay Bobby. I promise you that tomorrow I'll be on my way to stay with my brother."

"Don't think that I won't call, you hear? If I have the slightest idea that you ain't there, I'm gonna tan your hide too, alright?"

"But…If he doesn't want me…What will I do? I…I don't know what to do without him…I…I need him, Bobby."

Damn, if Dean could see me right here, right now, he would be calling me a princess (God, how I miss being called that). He would tell me that my name was supposed to be Samantha and that I was a walking talking chick flick moment (I miss that too…).

I was crying my eyes out and Bobby had no fucking clue what he should be doing. His face could make me laugh if I wasn't so depressed, so worried that my brother would kick me out, would forget about me.

After a few minutes, I finally got my crying in control. And asked me if he could _please_ give me my box back. He only looked at me like I had eleven heads.

"You've got to be kidding, you bloody idjit. Do you see how screwed up you are? You've been crying and now you just forget about it and ask for your box?"

"Yeah. And I don't want to talk about it. Just give me my box, then I will be on my way to see my…Dean" I wasn't sure I could call him brother now.

"You Winchesters will be the death of me. It's in your room."

I jogged up the stairs, got into my room and looked at the box. There it was my salvation. That box had everything I needed to keep Dean's memory in my mind, I had everything that mattered, except Dean.

But when I opened the box what I saw made me wanna fall on my knees again and cry.

~o~

I woke up earlier than I should that morning, although it was pretty normal for me to wake up before the alarm clock rang. I barely could sleep. I was thinking about Sam all night.

Sure, I've been living with Lisa and Ben for a year and I had to protect them. But did I really have to make Sam feel so worthless? When he asked me if I would pick up the phone when he called, it hurt.

He wasn't expecting me to be big brother again. He thought that I didn't give a damn about him.

Of course that I didn't help anything when I almost had a heart attack when he told me he would drive by. I was too scared to have him in my normal life. I was too scared of what Lisa would say. I was too scared to consider what my brother would think. Hell, when did I stop giving a damn about my brother? When did I become so heartless?

But what was done, was done. There was nothing I could do. I wouldn't call, he was better off without me. I'm sure he wouldn't feel welcomed here. I sure as hell knew that Lisa and the kid weren't comfortable with him here that first night.

So I went with my usual routine (God, routine is so damn boring, every day the same damn thing, the same damn people and the same damn sight). I woke up, turned off the alarm clock when it rang, dressed up and went to make breakfast.

The three of us ate, and then Ben would go to school. Lisa and I usually would read the newspaper, but not this time. She had to stop and ask me what was going on..

"Dean, come on, you're on edge, you've barely slept…Now, you're looking like you're going to drop dead in an instant."

Oh, if only she knew how I looked when I was about to get killed. She had no idea. She would _**never**_ see me about to die.

"Lise, nothing is wrong. I just had an argument with Sam, that's it."

Yeah, an argument where I told him he was to blame for getting killed, for being alone right now. I blamed him for me giving up on him and staying with you, so, what's for dinner, sweetheart? Yeah, like I could tell the truth.

"Dean, I know you love your brother, but you should let it go. You can't live the same life he does, you have us, remember! I'm not saying he can't come, or you can't love him, but you gotta stop being obsessed about him!" Lisa wasn't trying to be mean, I knew that. But she didn't understand us. Us, Winchesters, weren't from the reality that she was from.

Winchesters only have family. That's it. If we're not together then we got nothing at all. That's how it's always been and how it should be.

"Lise, it's complicated, alright? I've said some bad things to him. He isn't okay, alright? He is my baby brother, is my job to protect us!"

"What about Ben and me? Whose job is it to protect us?" Lisa was fierce, she decided that I had to stay with her, and she would protect that with everything she had. "You have the right to have a family and I'm sure Sammy understands that!" What did she just call him?

"Don't call him Sammy. Don't! I KNOW my job is to protect you, but I can't just leave my brother! Hell, do you have any idea how much our heads are worth to demons? He could be getting killed right now! And I'm not there to protect him! It drives me crazy! It makes me mad! Because he's mine! My baby brother! My family! "

"After everything Ben did for you, can't you at least consider him your family? Come on, the kid loves you! I love you! I know that we're not Sam, but we're also your family." She touched the necklace that I had on. It just brought back everything that I felt yesterday.

"Lise, I feel like I betrayed my brother. This necklace is only a reminder of that. Ben gave this to me, but I don't feel like it's a gift. I feel like this is a curse. It's only a reminder of how much I hurt my brother before he died, and how much I hurt him when I left him alone to stay with you. God, enough! I don't wanna talk anymore. Sorry, I know I'm fucked up. But if you really love me, you gotta take me like that." And I left, going upstairs to take this necklace off, at least for a while.

I looked at the mirror. The pendent was shining against the bathroom light. It was a representation, a replica, of my favorite 9'mm, my favorite gun. It only reminded me of the hunt, of who gave that gun to me and who gave me a necklace prior to the one I was wearing.

I remember Ben's face when he gave this to me.

_Flashback_

_It was my first birthday here. It was abnormal for me to have a birthday party, but Lisa and Ben couldn't let it go, so I let them. I was already making their life hell, being drunk for a couple of months, and then there were the nightmares. I didn't know how they could keep me around. I would have kicked myself out a long time ago._

_Ben came near me, all happy with a present wrapped in a shiny paper. He sat in the sofa by my side and hand it over to me._

"_I know it's not the same, but I thought, well, since he lost that one, why couldn't mom and I try to replace that? Huh? So, what you think, Dean?" Kid was all smiles, but when I finished unwrapping I wanted to scream that he couldn't replace that. He couldn't replace that necklace, because he couldn't replace Sammy._

"_I loved it Ben! But how did you know that I had one before?" Lisa was near me, picking up the necklace and putting it around my neck. I felt like she was choking me._

"_You have a picture of him in your car. In the Impala! You're there with that tall dude, you have a necklace and you're holding that gun. So, mom and I thought that, since you're not hunting anymore, we could give you this little gun, not a perfect replica, but something that would remind you of that."_

_When I heard that he went in to MY car and messed with MY things I almost went ballistic. I kept that photo well guard, because it was the only reminder of my brother. The only reminder that I could actually keep without making me go insane._

_I couldn't keep his cell because it was tainted with the message that an angel left like pretending it was me and calling him a monster. But I couldn't take that and erase it either. The toy soldier I couldn't keep, because Ben played with it the first night that I was here and I couldn't really look at it anymore. I took it to Bobby the morning after I found it in his bedroom._

_Now, I was going to do the same thing with the picture. Take it far away from them as I could._

_End of Flashback_

Now, looking at myself I only see a disgusting guy. One dude who couldn't be a brother, a father or a lover. I failed in all three categories.

I had no idea what to do now. I had no idea who I had to be faithful with.

The only thing that I knew was that I couldn't betray the kid that had so much faith and adoration towards myself, so I put the necklace back on and got out of the bathroom so I could go to work.

This is the new me. And I can't look back now.

~o~

I looked in the box and I saw the toy soldier. He didn't keep that.

I looked into the box and I saw our picture. He didn't keep that either.

I looked into the box and I saw the amulet that I gave him. He didn't keep that either.

I looked into the box and I saw that he didn't take anything.

He left everything that could possible remind him of me.

Did you hate me that much big bro? Did I really screw up so badly?

But that's okay, I'll fix everything, Dean. I'm not going to cry over you anymore. I'll visit you and let you know that I am fine. I'll let you know that you don't have to stay with me outta compassion.

I picked up the amulet I gave to him and put it on. I hide it in my shirt, keeping it close to my skin. It stung with grief, with betrayal.

When he threw the amulet in the trash I knew he was done with me. But I had hoped that after I died he would find it in his heart to forgive me.

That day, after he left me in the hotel room, I went to the trash can and picked up the amulet. Wearing it with everything I had, hoping that one day it would be in my brother's neck again and he would wear it proudly, like he did so many years before.

When he let me say 'yes' to Lucifer, and when I told him I wasn't coming back, I decided that I would leave everything to him, in a box in Bobby's house. I also told Bobby that he would tell Dean after I left to say 'yes'. I know he did, or the toy soldier wouldn't be here.

But Dean didn't take it. And that was only one of the signs that he forgot about me.

I picked everything that was inside the box, putting it in the bed so I could see what I would do with every little piece of my life that was kept in a little box. Everything was as I put there, with the exception of three things.

The photo, the amulet and Dean's cell. The cell Dean was using when he got killed because of the Deal and went to hell.

The cell was fully charged (and I didn't leave it like that) and there was one new voice message. I went to see which one it was, and realized that the phone was full of messages that I left for my brother after he died, so I could pretend that he was alive when he wasn't.

I put one of them on, just to know what I had said. It was so long ago. Even though those days were burned in my mind, I couldn't remember what I left in the voice message. My voice came through the phone:

"_Hey, big bro. It's been so hard without you. I never knew I loved you that much. I bet that you would be laughing right now if you knew that I'm calling your phone, even though you're dead and it isn't with you. Because they don't have phones in hell, do they? But that's not the point. Today was the first day that I drove your girl without you by my side. Can you believe that I woke up and forgot that you weren't alive anymore? I went to the passenger seat and sat there for ten minutes, before I realized that you weren't coming. I moved over to the driver seat and turned on the car. You left me a last prank, didn't you? As soon as I turned on the car the radio started playing reaaaaaaaaaaally loud. The song was called "I feel like a Woman". I knew you left it for me…I don't know if I can live without you, bro. Gotta go, I have a hunt up in Ohio and I know you would tell me to gear up and suck it up. Love ya."_

And then I moved over to the new voice message. The number wasn't registered on the phone, but I knew that number by heart. It was the one Dean was using.

~o~

**A/N: Hey people!**

Hope you liked it. God, this chapter was really hard to write. You have no idea!

So, this is the longest chapter ever. I've never wrote so much. But you guys, all the people that left reviews and the people that put this story on their favorite list or their story alert, it really made me happy, so here it is for you.

I hope you can **let me know** **what you thought about this chapter**. And, I gotta ask something, please **ANSWER this**: Do you people believe in the Lisa/Dean relationship? I just wanted to know your thoughts.

So, again, thank you all for reading, even if you haven't reviewed. Thank you if you review and thank you if you put me on your alert list or your favorite list.

**But thank you to Eta**, who didn't log in, so I couldn't reply to the review.

Well, see ya next time!


	4. Chapter 4

Before you start reading**, I must tell you why I delayed so much this new chapter**. I think some of you have seen what's going on in Rio de Janeiro, with Complexo do Alemão, a slum that was in war. Well, for those who know this happened, I knew some cops that were working there. I couldn't put my heart into writing when I knew they could be killed at any minute.

Then, not only that, but I have a VERY VERY VERY important test, known as CPE – Certificate of Proficiency in English – on Sunday, so, yeah, I'm freaking out. I studied hard, but I don't know if I will pass. So, WISH ME LUCK, PEOPLE!

So, thank you all for the comprehension, now you can read.

**WARNING: SPOILERS for season SIX of supernatural**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my body. And even that, sometimes I think I'm controlled by aliens! So, DON'T SUE!**

~o~

_Sam's POV_

"_Sammy, I'm so sorry. I wish I had been a better big brother. I wish I hadn't been so hard with you. I knew, or at least I could sympathize, with your demon blood addiction. I got addicted to alcohol when you left, and made a deal. You couldn't do that, so you went with demon blood. I wish I could have been a better brother and forgave you. Now you're gone. And I promised that I would stay with my new __**family**__, but they're not family. You're my family. I miss you. Sammy, how could you just jump? How could you just leave me here? I wish I could make a deal, because, little bro…I would go to hell again, again and again just to have you back. You're worth that. I…I gotta go now, I'm going to Lisa. But I miss you…You're…You."_

After that, I couldn't say my brother didn't miss me. He did. And I had no right to make him stay with me. He had a family now and I wasn't a part of that, but I was his brother, and I could respect that. Actually, I couldn't, but I should, because he respected me and Jess.

So, I went downstairs. I told Bobby that I was leaving. He almost knocked me out, because I should go to sleep and only then I should go away. Well, I wasn't going to waste another minute, I missed my brother. And he told me I could visit and, HELL, he missed me, and I missed him, so I'm going to him. NOW.

I left, even if Bobby tried to convince me that I shouldn't go without sleeping first.

It took me a while, actually, it took me one day and a half. I got there in the middle of the afternoon. I didn't see what Dean was using as his car in the garage, so I sat there waiting. I turned off the car and the cold got to me in a few minutes. But I had to make it feel real, because I couldn't believe that I was here.

After two hours of waiting, I was pretty much frozen, the cold was eating at each one of my nerves and muscles. So, when I finally saw Dean getting to his house I was going to jump out of my seat and go greet him, tell him I'm sorry and that I was happy for him.

But I saw that Lisa and Ben where in the car with him. So I waited. All of them got out, but Dean looked in my direction and saw me. He smiled at his family (it hurts to say that, but I have to get used to it), a smile that I knew was forced and said 'I'm hiding something from you, please don't notice' and I knew that he was mad at me.

After they got in, Dean came in my direction. I got out of the car. He met me just as I was getting out. He grabbed my hand and took near a tree, where both of us were hidden from his house, nobody that was inside would see us.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, that's a nice welcome. I just wanted to see you. I miss you, that's it."

"You sure as hell didn't miss me when you spent a year on your own, hunting with the nice, little family that you have."

"I came visit you every week. It didn't matter where I was I came to see if you were alright every week. I thought you were better off without me."

"And after a freaking year you decide that I wasn't alright after all? When YOU decide?"

"Look, I don't wanna fight. Bobby convinced me that you missed me, and that I should stay with you for a while, but I'll go now. It's clear to me now that you don't want me here. I'm sorry to bother you."

I turned towards my car, preparing myself to open the door, hoping that he would call me and tell me that I was wrong. I heard him sigh and call me, in a tired voice.

"I don't want you to go. I'm sorry too, 'kay? It's easier to fight than to try to understand why you left me hanging for a year. So, what do you wanna do? Hunt something? Go somewhere? What about your hotel room? I could tell Lis' that I'm going out with some friends."

"I don't have a hotel room. I was waiting for you. I didn't even think about renting one."

There was the proof that he didn't want me anymore. Now I could go tell Bobby that, I could tell him that Dean didn't want me. I think he forgot about the message he left for me. Because this guy sure as hell didn't miss me. My brother died. I don't know when, I don't know how, but he did die. Because this guy didn't know how to be Dean, and he wasn't him.

"Where you're going to sleep then? It's night already."

"I was…Could I…Would you…mind if I sleep here today? I…I have no money right now."

He looked at me, then glanced at the house, then came back to me. I could see de indecision on his face, I could see the desperation on his eyes. And I decided to take that decision away from him.

"Alright. No need. I'll sleep on the car in necessary, but I'll try to hustle some pool in a bar I saw near your house."

"NO! YOU CAN'T!" I looked at him as if he was crazy. "Dude, the people that I work with, they hustle pool there and I can't let you take all of their money."

"Okay, I'll sleep in the car if that makes you feel better. Could you give me a blanket then? I lost mine a few months back."

"I'll do better than that. Give me a few minutes and I'll bring you some money."

He didn't wait for me to answer, and left running. I knew now that he was trying to hide me from them. When he got inside the house, I stepped away from the tree and saw Lisa looking at me from her house's window.

She had a betrayed face, like Dean lied to her. But it was also a face that spoke of hurt and fear. She feared that I was taking Dean away again. And I wasn't doing that to her. Or to him. Because even if I needed and missed him, I owned him a better life.

So I smiled and waved, point to my car. Without saying anything, I told her I was sorry. And I guessed she lip read what I was saying, she smiled and said 'thank you'.

~o~

_Dean's POV_

I couldn't believe that Sam was here. And he wanted to have a sleep over in my house. Yeah, sure, like Lisa wasn't pissed at me enough right now. So I did everything I could to not let him.

When he told me he didn't have money my chest hurt. I usually was the provider, he didn't have to worry about money and stuff while I was around. He couldn't keep in his mind how much we had and how much we had spent, which meant that I had to do that, I was responsible for all money issues.

I went inside the house, and saw Lisa and the window. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes. I was going for my wallet in the desk when she decided to say something.

"He left."

"What? Why?"

"Because he didn't feel welcomed here, Dean. He knew that when he looked at me."

"Did you say something? Why?"

"I didn't need to. You were the one that felt the need to not let him inside and decided to hide him. You know, I don't hate your brother."

"But you don't want him inside either, right?"

"I don't know anything about Sam. I don't know anything about how he is. The only thing that I know is that the two times that he came here, he took you on some hunt. And I'm afraid that he's going to take you away from us."

"Lis', I love my brother. But I just want him to have a family. For us, family is everything. With you looking at him, you probably made him feel uncomfortable. And while I was trying to protect us and Ben, I made him feel unwelcomed. Damn it, the kid just went to hell to save us and we can't even have a room for him? I…I need to go, sorry, Lis'"

I knew it wasn't his fault that Lisa felt the need to keep him away. I knew it wasn't his fault that I decided to have a perfect little family. And I knew it wasn't his fault for anything. And I knew better than anyone that Sammy has 'Sammy-too-low-self-steam-issues", so I should have known better. Now he was probably beating himself up for coming to visit me.

I went outside, with the car keys on my hand, got inside the car and decided to look for him. I knew that he didn't have enough money and - after I told him that I wouldn't let him steal my friend's money – I knew that he wasn't going to get some. So I drove looking for a quiet street. I didn't find anything in the entire town (lucky me that it was a small town).

I decided to go to the road. So many times we slept in the side of the road, waiting for the cold to pass and for the seat to be a little more comfortable, and promising ourselves that we would never run out of money again. I found him.

I spent two hour looking for him and even if it wasn't late, he would be asleep, I'm pretty sure he drove through the night to get here, to see me. I got near his car window and saw him curling himself up on the back seat, trying to keep his legs in the car. And what hurt most, I saw him curling himself up because he was shaking with cold.

How the hell could I have been so stupid to let my brother freeze to death on the side of a road so I could pretend that I had a perfect little family? So I could hide him from my girlfriend and her kid?

After a few minutes of staring, I saw him trashing in the backseat. His mouth opened in a silent scream and he sat up in a rush. I started knocking on the window until I got his attention, he looked at me like I was a complete stranger. Then, he opened the door and smiled at me.

"Dean, what you're doing here?"

"Well, I told you I was going to get you money, you left."

He seemed hurt with that. Of course he was, he was a Winchester and wasn't accepting money from anyone, 'cause he could provide for himself.

"I don't need any charity, Dean. I'm fine here."

"Yeah, so, freezing to death and having nightmare on the side of a road is just being peachy, right?"

"You wouldn't know, right? You don't give a damn now that you have a family, so, why don't you go back to your ugly car and drive back to your house?"

I was amused with that. Sammy was biting my head off when a hour ago he looked like a kicked puppy. He must have seen that I was shocked and answered looking like a kicked puppy all over again.

"I'm sorry. I'm just cranky, haven't slept for some time now."

"Does it have anything to do with nightmares, kiddo?"

And now, it was his turn to be shocked. He opened his mouth only to close it again after a few seconds without saying anything. I guess he must have really felt like I didn't love him anymore.

"Nope, I haven't had nightmares for a long time now. That was me trying to find a position that it would be comfortable."

"Yeah. Right."

There was silence now between us. I forgot how to be a big brother and even though I care for him, I couldn't just step in that role again if he was going to go away again. If I was going to be the big brother, I wouldn't be able to let him go.

"Dean, I know that you love to stay freezing on the side of a road and talking nothing with me, but, shouldn't you be in your house asleep right now?"

"Actually, I came to pick you up. You're staying with me, Lisa and Ben. And we won't take a 'no' for an answer, let's go."

I just left him there to go to my car. After a few minutes, we both were on our way to my house. And even if I wasn't completely happy, it made my heart feel a lot lighter now. I wasn't so guilty anymore.

~o~

_Sam's POV_

When we got inside Dean's house everything was quiet, everybody was sleeping. Dean showed me to my bedroom, told me where he was sleeping and if I needed anything, I could just call him.

I was happy. Not as happy as I was when we were together, fighting the good old fight. But it was the happiest moment since I got top side.

But even then, I couldn't sleep. I was laying in the bed, thinking that I shouldn't be here. That I wasn only a burden, even if my brother came to pick me up on that road. He could have picked me up outta compassion, outta guilt, or love. And if it was love, then I was hanging on that little hope that I had.

But I knew that I couldn't sleep. Every night my nightmares seemed to get worse, to the point where I was waking up screaming or crying. I couldn't give myself the luxury to sleep and wake up everyone. Dean, Lisa and Ben were being too kind already.

I stayed up until I heard somebody waking up. It was Dean and Lisa. Soon, they started talking. I could hear everything.

"He isn't taking you away on some hunt, is he?"

"We didn't talk about that, Lise, I was just worried on getting him inside the house."

"So, it wasn't outta guilt that you brought him?"

"I couldn't let him sleep on the road, okay? I don't want to fight. I just want to have breakfast, wake Ben up, drive him to school, and I'm going to miss work today, 'cause I need to talk to Sam, alright?"

"If he tries to take you on some hunt, what you're going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Dean, if you go…If you go…Me and Ben can't be on this with you."

"Look, Sam and I have issues, but don't worry. I won't go on a hunt with him."

"He is your brother, are you sure that you won't go?"

Dean couldn't answer that, Ben had just woken up and was coming to greet them. It hurt to know that I was making them fight, and it hurt even more to know that Dean was promising that he wouldn't come hunting with me. Big bro, you promised that, but what if I get myself in trouble and need some help? Will you ignore me then?

After one hour, Ben was at school and I thought it was safe for me to get up. Dean and Lisa were still downstairs and even if I didn't feel comfortable staying near her, I had to make sure to say thanks for her hospitality.

I went downstairs and got into the kitchen. She smiled at me and asked me what I wanted to eat. I sat down and Dean said he was going to grab something upstairs and was coming back in a minute. I knew he wanted me to fix things with Lisa.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to impose. But thanks for letting me stay here."

"Sam, I want you to know that you're always welcomed here. I'm not going to lie here, it's awkward to have you around, but I'm not going to prohibit you to see your brother. And you're Dean's family that means you're our family to."

I was impressed with how much strength this woman had. First, she accepted my fucked up brother. Then, she accepted me. But I knew this was only pretend. I knew that she didn't want me to stay. She was a nice person, but I was a burden.

~o~

_Dean's POV_

I left them both talking downstairs and came upstairs to grab my cell so I could call in sick to work. When I was coming back to stay with them, I passed the guest bedroom that Sam was staying in and I heard his telephone ring. I went into his room and picked it up. On its screen it was written who the caller was: "_Samuel"_

The little bastard lied to me. He told me he wasn't working with Samuel or anyone in the family anymore. He probably was here looking for my help. It pissed me off. He didn't miss me. He stayed ONE YEAR away from me, now he came just to get my help.

Sam, even if I love you, I can't screw this up anymore. I can't play Ben and Lisa because you can't decide if you miss me or if you need me.

I went downstairs, I was going to waitm see if Sam was going to tell me something after Lisa left. When I got in the kitchen, they weren't fighting, it was an amiable conversation, with two people that didn't hate each other, but didn't love each other.

Lisa said she had to go to work. Sam smiled, told her he was really thankful that she let him stay and told her he admired her, how she could keep up with a stubborn bastard like me.

It was supposed to make me laugh, but I couldn't. He had lied to me. There was no need for any confirmation. I knew that he had lied, but I would wait for the bastard to tell me.

She left and it was just the both of us. Me and Sam. He looked at me nervous for a second.

"She is really nice. Do you need me to go now?"

"I already told you, I'm not going to kick you out."

I wasn't being mean, but I wasn't being amiable too. I wasn't being amicable either. I wanted to see if he was going to tell me that he lied. That he was here waiting me for a hunt, because he needed my help.

"I'm just asking, man, no need to be angry."

"Do you have anything you need to tell me Sam?"

"Nope. What, do you expect me to have a child out there somewhere? Because if somebody told you I have, they are wrong."

He was trying real hard to act normal, like we were together for a long time. But he couldn't do it if I didn't do my part, and I was being hard. I wouldn't let the talk be a normal one between us, because I needed him to tell me what he was here for.

Then, he got up, told me he forgot something upstairs and went to his room.

I followed him, I heard his phone ring and he picked it up. I needed to hear the conversation, since he hadn't told me anything, maybe I could prove that he was lying to me with this conversation.

"I'm trying."

"I'm can't just get him there and tell him that."

"Look, I know that it is hard, but I can't just drag him."

"I'm working on it."

"He's going to. I just need to work him into doing that a little bit."

"Look, I know what I'm doing, alright? When I'm done, he will do what is right."

Then he hanged up.

That conversation right there proved that I was right.

He turned to me and said:

"I need help."

And that made me lose all the control I thought I had. The first punch came naturally to me. And from then on, I hit him again and again, without him protecting himself, until he passed out.

~o~

**N/A: **So, who is going to kill me first?

I'm taking some things from the actual season that I think would be interesting in the fic. And in the episode that Dean kicked Sam's ass I couldn't really see the reason behind the beating. So I decided to make the reason the lies and the fact that he chose Sam between him and Lisa. A beating is when somebody is angry, and the only reason I could see him angry was because of that. So, what do you think?

I'm sorry for any mistakes; I haven't proof read it yet. So, let me know any mistakes, alright?

I'm sorry for the delay, there was the war in the Alemão slum, my test (CPE) and then the fact that I'm sick as a dog.

People, I'm getting near the end of this fic, and then I'm going to post a companion piece and LOTS of one-shots.

**Eta,** I appreciate all your reviews. And I should really let you know that even though I delay the update, I'm NEVER EVER going to leave this fic. I love it far too much.

I can't even realize that it all started with a musing at four o'clock in the morning. Actually, here in Brazil it's three o'clock in the morning and I'm writing. See what you guys make me do?

**_People, I'm really nervous about this chapter, so, PLEASE, REVIEW! I need to know what you think! I'm worried that you guys are going to hate it...So, please, let me know!_**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm pretty unhappy about something that I've heard about the new episodes, so forgive me if I pass this anger that I'm feeling into the fic.

Although, considering the end of last chapter, you may want to kill me. Not even comment about how many reviews I got…Was so upset, people.

Here we go to all the normal warnings about language and spoilers. If you read it and didn't want spoilers, yeah, that's your own fault.

Go read and review, people, make a writer damn happy.

~o~

Sam's POV

I heard my phone ring and left Dean by himself so I could pick the call up. The name on the screen said 'Bobby', and I was very happy to hear from him.

I know that I left Bobby's house in quite a rush, but we had a problem to solve and he was helping me through it.

So I picked up, but his voice didn't bring me any good news.

"Tell me you've told your brother what the hell is going on?" Yep, that's the best Hello a man could get.

"_I'm trying."_

"Trying is not good enough? Bring his ass back here if you think you can't handle telling him the truth."

"_I can't just get him there and tell him that."_

"Look, kid, we can do it the hard way, or the easy way. The hard way is you letting me do everything on my own, and stay there talking to Dean. The easy way is to get his ass here researching, so we can do what needs to be done, you get me?"

"_Look, I know that it is hard, but I can't just drag him."_

"Kid, who is talking about dragging?, I'm telling you to tell that smart ass of a brother that you have that you need his help, right here, right now. Are you doing that?"

"_I'm working on it."_

"Kid, he is not going to be mad alright? Just make yourself confortable around his family, that way he won't have to choose between his family and you¹. He can have both, not as before, but in a new way. He will stay with them if you work on that."

"_He's going to. I just need to work him into doing that a little bit."_

"Sam, don't try to trick him and pretend you're happy if you're not. Ask for his help, and explain the situation."

"_Look, I know what I'm doing, alright? When I'm done, he will do what is right."_

"You mean, stay with his family and leave you behind right?"

And then I hang up on Bobby. In his mind and mine, we knew that Dean staying with the family was the right thing to do. We couldn't let him be dragged back in hunting, so I had to pretend I was happy, so he could have both. He would be happier like this and even if I was upset that he wouldn't be hunting with me again, I had to accept that. He deserved to be happy like I was when I had Jess.

I turned to him and said the three words that Bobby wanted me to say.

"I need help."

This is the last thing I remember.

I woke up on a soft bed. Even if the bed was soft, I could still feel my whole boding aching. And for quite a long time I couldn't figure it out why.

When I did, I felt betrayed, hurt, but most of all deception. I just asked him for his help, and he turned on me like that. I couldn't even figure it out why. Had I done something so terrible?

That only other time that he had hit after he came to pick me up at Stanford, was the time dad had tied and I pushed too much. He had a reason to be angry I was being a pain in the ass (more than normal) little brother. Was I doing it again? Was I upsetting my brother that much with my presence?

The only thing I knew was that I had to leave.

Since I was sitting on the bed I had used last night, my belongings where neatly packed up in a bag against the wall. It was easy going away. He wasn't here to see if I would wake up alright, then again, he was the one who had done that damage to me.

All I was completely sore, but the only option that I had to leave was using the window as an escape root since Dean was downstairs talking quite loud with somebody. Probably on the phone, since I couldn't hear a second voice.

I picked everything that was mine and left. For a second I hoped that my big brother would pick up on my 'grand escaped act' and would bring me inside again, telling me he was sorry.

When I was passing by the door, outside, going for my car, I heard him curse me. I knew right then that he wasn't coming back to say he was sorry. I run as fast as my battered body could. I left thinking that I would never see my brother again…And it wasn't because I decided to do so. It was because he got tired of me.

So, I decided to leave and never come back. I wouldn't take his calls, because that would be him pitying me, and I didn't' want him to be obligated to me.

I got in my car and left. When I was at the end of the road I could see him running into the street and looking at my car. I knew what I had to do now. Drop this car somewhere and steal another one. One that wouldn't be completely different from what I like, but not something that I would pick up willingly.

So, I chose another car. I didn't know where I was driving to. No hunt was waiting for me. No big brother was going to have my back. And Bobby couldn't find out what Dean had done to me or he would pity me too. I couldn't handle that.

I drove for hours. It was already three A.M when I had thought about stopping. My face was swollen beyond recognition, and it ached. Actually, it was the pain that made me decide to stop. I hadn't treated it and I could feel the dry blood from a cut near my eye. I could still feel the dry blood near my mouth. I would be lucky if any manager decide to let me stay a night, or two, considering that I probably had a concussion, if the pain and the sensitivity to light were anything to go by.

I finally decided to stop. And the manager, a pretty little woman, actually felt sorry for me and decided to let me stay. She even offered me to take care of my face, asking me if it was some gang that hit me. I think she'd be quite surprise if I told her who had done it. I know I was.

I got into my room. A two beds room. 'Cause he might have betrayed me, but Dean was so ingrained in my brain that even through the year that we spent apart I'd till rent rooms with two beds.

I looked into the mirror, seeing what I could do to help the ache. I washed my face, the water taking all the dry blood. It was there to see. The things that my brother did to me. My left eye was swollen shut, my right eye was almost to that point, but I think I was too stubborn to not see anything by closing both of them. My whole face was swollen, to be sincere, and bruised. I had cuts under my eye, on my mouth, my nose. I was pretty much fucked up.

I couldn't believe it was my _brother_ that had done that to me. I thought maybe he had been possessed when I wasn't looking, but he had a tattoo. It couldn't be a shape-shifter.

But, then again, things were not normal like before. Maybe tattoos wouldn't work anymore and a person would be possessed by a demon even if they had it. If that were true, surely Bobby would know.

I decided to take a shower and take up on the manager offer of her bringing me some bread. I wasn't hungry, but I knew that I hate to eat. I was already far away from Dean, but I wasn't staying in the same place anymore. If he was possessed, then I would go back. But if he wasn't…

I'm not even going to think about the probability that he wasn't, because my Dean would never hurt me like that.

I ate, thanks to the little woman. I didn't sleep much, and the few hours that I did were full of nightmares. Now, I had two bad nights in a row without sleep, and one very bad slept. I wasn't looking very good not only because of my bruised face, but because of my lack of sleep and food.

When it was six A.M I decided to call Bobby. I knew that he would be awake. I knew, also, that he would be able to answer my question.

"Would it be possible to a demon possess a person even if it were wearing the tattoo?"

"Hello to you too, asshole. What happened to Dean?"

"Why Dean, Bobby? It could be anyone"

"First, he called me yesterday talking about you being a traitor. He wouldn't let me say a thing before he hung up on me and never picked up when I called back. Now, you're calling about someone having a tattoo that wouldn't let demons in. Wanna share with the class now, Sam?"

"He has done something that Dean wouldn't do."

"Did you ask for his help? And how the hell did he react?"

"I…Answer me, is there anything that you've heard about demons being able to pass through the tattoo?"

"No, Sam, there isn't. Now, you're going to tell me now what the hell happened, or I'm calling your brother. Or even better, I'm going to drop in for a visit, what do you say now, kid?"

"He hit me, Bobby. When I asked for help, he kicked my ass…Are you sure it was my brother?"

"He hit you? Sam, where are you? Can you come to my house right now?"

"Bobby, there's no need to that. You've just confirmed something that I knew all along, my brother doesn't want me near him anymore…He didn't want to help because he didn't want to spend time with me anymore."

"Sam, come on, kid, why don't you stay with me?"

"I don't know if he's looking for me, Bobby. He was really mad, I don't want to see him anymore. Please, please, don't tell him I called. Don't let him…Don't talk to him about me, anymore, okay? If he asks, tell him I disappeared."

And then I hang up. How could I survive knowing that my own brother hated me that much that he would kick my ass? That he would hit me so much that would make me scared enough to disappear?

Big brother, you just got you wish. You're never going to see me again.

And even though I was pretty much depressed right now, God couldn't give me a break – he never did. My phone rang, and I read the screen "Samuel".

I had already told the bastard to not call anymore. He and his damn plans for me. I wasn't running away only from Dean, but from Samuel and his family too. Only God knew what was going to happen to me.

Because I sure as hell didn't know how to get out of this shit.

~o~

Dean's POV

After I beat Sam up I felt guilty. But that only lasted for a few minutes. He had betrayed me. And how did Bobby dare to let him to come? My house is not a place for traitors.

I dragged Sam upstairs and let him lying down on his bed. I would wait until he woke up, to let him know that I found out about his little scam about having me back on a hunting spree, with the family that he said he left.

I got downstairs and call Bobby there were a lot of things he had to hear.

"Do you have any idea what you've just done? You tell me 'have a good apple pie life' but then you send me Sam? Do you have any idea how much of a FREAK he is when compared to NORMAL? I have no fucking idea how the kid survived in Stanford, but he sure as hell can't survive here with me. Do you know that he wants me to go back hunting? Do you know that he's still hunting with the Samuel little clan? He's a traitor, he betrayed me and was selling me as a hunter to them."

I hear the engine of a car passing by my house. I went upstairs and saw that Sam wasn't there. I hang up the phone without hearing what Bobby had to say. Outside of the house I could see Sam's car going through the road. The freaking kid was running away. Like a coward that he is, not admitting his mistakes, his failure.

Bobby called all day, probably trying to figure out what the hell happened. But I couldn't pick up. To Lisa, I said that Sam had some hunt and had to leave in a hurry. She didn't believe me and would've started another discussion if I hadn't looked so worn out.

I didn't pick up, 'cause I couldn't explain to her that she was right about my brother and me not getting along. He was selling me out. He was selling the life I had with this family. He was selling my family. He wasn't looking for a big brother anymore, he was looking for a hunter that would help him, a hunter that would leave his family behind to hunt.

I couldn't sleep that night. All my thoughts were 'if I wrong, I hit Sam for nothing', and if that were true, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

At eight A.M I decided to call Bobby, Lisa had already left and so did Ben. Today I wasn't working, cause yesterday I took a week off.

"You bloody damn idjit, what the fuck do you think you were doing when you beat the crap out of your brother?"

"He deserved it, Bobby. He lied to me. He told me that he wasn't hunting with Samuel again, but he was! He talked to him, telling him at 'by the end of it, he'd to the right thing'. He was talking about me."

"Kid, why the HELL would Sam work with Samuel, if Samuel is working with a demon that wants Sam's ass?"

"What? But Samuel called him, Bobby."

"Of course, Samuel called. He doesn't know that we know that Crawley knows that Sam knows where it is."

"Okay, can you translate what you just said, I didn't understand squat."

"Samuel is working for Crawley. Crawley is looking for purgatory. Sam knows where it is. His soul was there for a while. So Samuel is selling Sam out to Crawley, so he can torture the information outta Sam. But we know that, that's one of the reasons that Sam was staying with you, to pretend to Samuel that you were together again and someone would have Sam's back."

"You're telling me that Sam wasn't betraying me?"

"Kid, I'm telling you that you beat the crap outta your _little brother_ for nothing, you hear me? And the kid was still hopping that it hadn't been you."

"He's with you? I need to apologize, Bobby, put him on."

"I don't know where he is. But why the hell did you beat him, Dean? Have you forgotten how the kid love and trusts you?"

"Why didn't he say anything?"

"Because he wanted you to know that you had no obligation to him. He wanted you to know that you could stay with your family and he would be okay. He was so freaking upset, but he didn't want to mess up your apple pie life. And you beat the crap outta him for it. So, congratulations, Dean. Now you have the woman, the kid. But you don't have you little brother, who is out there in the world, beaten and having a lot of people looking for him. You got what you wished for. Your brother is out of your life."

~o~

A/N: Hey people!

First, I should let you all know that reviews make me type faster. So, review and I'll see what I can do about fast updated.

Second, today I finished my CPE examinations. So, GOOD LUCK for me.

Third, I know that the last chapter was pretty much crazy, nobody expected Dean to beat the crap out of Sam like in the series, but I thought it would bring a nice change. Considering the amount of reviews that I got, I think not all of you thought that.

And now, the last one: Do you know that next chapter is the last one, if everything goes accordingly to my plan? Then there'll be the epilogue. And then I'll start a one-shot series that is currently being written. So, who's going to keep reading my work? I hope that I got you all hooked enough to see more of your reviews.

All that said, Eta, cold kagome and angeleyenc thank you for your reviews and I'll hope you'll give me more.

Bye bye people, see ya next time.

REVIEW!

1 - This is only a clarification that I thought I should make, since Tori, who reviewed this same chapter, brought it into questioning. When I say his family, I'm not saying that Sam isn't Dean's family. Even because Sam is more family than anyone could ever be. What I mean is Lisa and Ben, since they are the people that Dean has been living with. I don't know if there you use family to mention somebody that lives with you, but here, in Brazil, I do that.  
Having that said, please, this chapter may make you mad, but don't give up, next one is better!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: TORI, just su you know, when Bobby said 'his family' he never meant that Sam wasn't Dean's family, he Just meant that Dean wasn't living with him, and Sam was always travelling, since he is a Hunter.

Now, I'm obligated to go to a **BAD topic**: I'm not going to apologize for what I've written. I will not apologize for the way I wrote Sam, Dean and Bobby. So, **if you're coming here to flame me**, like some already did**, I don't give a damn**, honey, so would you go find something useful, alright? I write because I like, I write because somebody likes this too. So, I don't give a damn if you're going to say I was crazy or anything like that.

If you have reviews that will actually help me get better, good. If you're only here to piss me off, sorry, you won't be able to, get that? Good!

Sorry for all of those that actually help me…And I'm sorry to say, THIS AIN'T THE LAST CHAPTER.

~o~

Dean's POV

"Do you have any idea where he might be, Bobby? I need to apologize."

"I just want to ask you something, Dean. You're going after your brother, but what about after? He AIN'T gonna leave hunting, and you won't leave Lisa, or are you?

I hung up after that. I couldn't bear to answer that I don't know. I've lived with Lisa and Ben for one year, I can't just throw that away and go hunting with Sammy.

But, if I think about it, I left my hunting life and came here. But I'm not sure what to do. If I leave, I'll be breaking Ben's heart and Lisa's hope for a good parent for Ben.

But I can't leave my brother hanging there, I left him thinking that I hate him. I left him after beating the crap outta him. I'm going to change that now. No matter what happens.

I get that I was pissed. I get that this comes with the moment, one second you're there, thinking somebody betrayed you, the next you're beating a guy up. But the thing is, this guy, is my brother. My little brother, who I swore to protect since I was four years old.

I don't know what happened to me in this year that would make me loose that much, that I would hit my brother. But I didn't want to know right now. All I needed to know was: Lisa and Ben might love me and yes, I'm living with them for a year, but I got get things fixed with my baby brother.

I went to the garage, and picked up some weapons and protections and packed them in my bag. I wasn't going to drive my girl ever again.

I went outside to find Sam with my pick up. When I got there, I saw I had a flat tire. I spent one minute there, standing on Lisa's house's sidewalk, wondering if I should change the fire, or drive with a perfect good car that was in the garage.

I promised myself that I would never drive de Impala again after Sam died. But I also never thought that Sam would come back, so I wasn't going to stick to that promise.

I went inside, got inside my car. When I realized, I was already driving, feeling the rush of the hunt. But this time I wasn't hunting any creature – at least for now, because Samuel and Crawley would find out they should've never messed with a Winchester – I was hunting my brother, to make peace between us.

I was driving as fast as I could, I already had Bobby looking for my brother. I had to find him.

~o~

Lisa's POV

(_Who's going to kill me now?)_

I picked Ben up from the school with the promise that dad and I were going to take him out for pizza, since he's football team had won a competition.

Dean had promised Ben that he would be there, but I tried to explain to my son what Dean was going through.

"Baby, he just got his brother back. His brother was missing for a long time."

"Is that why he came to us in the first place? Is that why now he decided to live with us?"

"Baby, he loves us, alright? He just missed his brother."

"Mom, now that his brother is back, and he doesn't need a replacement, he is leaving…right?"

"Ben, we were not his replacement, we were and are his family."

"Mom, his life is hunting. We don't hunt. And you didn't answer the most important question, is he leaving?"

I didn't know what to answer. I couldn't tell Ben that Dean wasn't leaving, when I knew that our situation was more than a little fucked up. I wasn't sure if Dean loved us, even though I did love him. I knew he cared for Ben, but maybe it was not enough to make him leave his baby brother.

"Why don't you talk to him when we get back?"

Minutes later I found out that this was the worse answer I could give my child. We got home and Dean wasn't there. For one minute, I tried to explain to Ben that he might've been working. The pickup was up front, maybe he had grabbed a lift with some of his friends.

Ben didn't let me finish, he went running to the garage and I froze when I went after him.

"See, Mom, I told him he'd leave."

For the rest of the day I didn't see Ben. He locked himself up in his room, and I couldn't make him try to talk to me. He was upset and he wouldn't let me help him through it.

I was angry. The least I expected from Dean was for him to wait to leave us. God, was it too much to expect him to love us? Was it too much to expect him to at least say goodbye?

~o~

Sam's POV

I had no money. I couldn't stay at that hotel for a long time. I had no idea how Samuel was trying to track me.

Samuel was a hunter long before I was and I couldn't just lay low in one place. He knew a lot of people that could track me. When Samuel wanted something, he would find it, there was no other option.

I was in my hotel room, figuring out what to do when I got a call from Samuel again. I could and I should pick up, because he doesn't know that I know that he's working for Crawley. If the thought I didn't know, then maybe he wouldn't track my phone.

I decided to take that chance. I couldn't run away forever. If Samuel wanted me, then he might as well have me. I have no idea how to get out of this shit.

I decided to let the phone ring until he hang up. I was going to decide what to do and call him back.

If I stayed not picking up he would know that something was wrong. Even though I wasn't hunting with him anymore, I would still pick up, to find out if he needed my help. He was family, I couldn't deny my help.

But, if I did answer the phone, I would have to do wherever job he gave me. And the job may be a trap, if I did the job, he could hand me over to Crawley. And he would find out where purgatory is.

But if I really thought about it, I knew that I had to answer. If I didn't, he would hunt me down, and find me. If I did, he would hand me over. But I had nothing to lose, after all.

I could go down, but I would go down taking somebody with me.

I called back.

~o~

Dean's POV

I was still trying to find Sammy. I didn't know how he was choosing his hotels, his roads or his cars, but I would find him.

Lisa had called me a thousand times, but I couldn't find time to answer her. When I found Sam again, I'd talk to her.

When my phone rang again, I was already pissed. I had been driving for fourteen hours and I wanted to stop and sleep, but I couldn't because I had to find Sam.

I picked it up, preparing myself to answer Lisa and tell her that I couldn't talk to her right now. I saw the screen, 'Sammy'.

I stopped the car. Hopeful that Bobby might have made Sam see the light and call me.

I put the phone in my ear but before I could open my mouth, the voice on the other said made me go silent.

'Hey, big bro.'

~o~

A/N: Hey people!

As you must've realized, this isn't the last chapter. I'm really sorry for that. I had to work this week and couldn't find time to write.

Decided to put Lisa's POV in there, 'cause if you really think about it, this story is about her too and the decisions that Dean makes because of her and her kid.

So, who do you think answered the phone?

PEOPLE, if you have any suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them! Feel free to PM me or send me a review. Or both, I'd be really happy.

Algum Ser


	7. Author's Note

People, I'm really damn sorry. Believe me, no one loves this story more than I do.

Here, in Brasil, it's my last year of school, so I have college examinations. Unfortunately, we don't have just one exam that can guarantee our entrance in the college we want.

There's a Nation Exam (ENEM), but not every university accepts them. Like, the university that I'm trying to get in, it has its own exam and it'll be next Sunday.

I've been studying twelve hours per day, sleeping only five and I'm still not being good enough in school

So, resuming, if I do well on Sunday's exam, I'll have more time to write. For now, it's all I can focus right now. I'm trying to get in Law School, and it's really hard.

Please, do understand and I hope you can give me a little strength to keep going and hopefully I'll do well and get an A in the most important exam in my year.

T.


	8. Author's Note II

First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to come here and explain myself.  
As most of you know, in 2011 I had college exams. I'm glad to say I've passed. Although, this was great news, I had to deal with the loss of my father, had to move out of my childhood home, and when I was gettin better, I suddendly lost my grandmother.

With all of that happening, I couldn't even imagine writing. Now, I'm hopeful that I'll publish something 'till the end of next month.

I'm so sorry for all of you, and I hope you all keep waiting and keep reviewing.

Thanks a lot for all the support!


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